Thank you for all of your kind comments and encouraging words on my last post about marking mother's day in a new way for this new season in which I am now living. I read and treasured each one. Thank you.
A few of you have asked how the day went, so I wanted to post a quick update while it is still fresh and before we head to Utah on Friday.
I slept well on Saturday night and woke up excited for the day on Sunday morning. I told God first thing (and every time I sort of woke up in the night) that I really hadn't a clue about how to order the day, but that it was his to do with as he pleased. A good start.
I skipped my morning mocha and had some hot tea and sat at the table with Mom and Dad while they ate breakfast. After a shower (the very best part of the morning!), Mom and Dad left for church and I got comfy on the couch with my Bible, the journals I keep for the kids, a good pen--Bic crystal, naturally!--and my Maddie-dog.
I talked to God for a while while Maddie listened attentively. (I pray out loud when I'm alone and I also talk to Maddie a lot, so she doesn't always know the difference!) I prayed for everything I could think of---end of the year stuff at school, graduation, friendships, health, future plans, safety, their relationships with God. Mostly I prayed for God's will to be done in their lives. For them to remember all they were taught and know about him and to love him and seek him.
I read the journals I have kept over the years and remembered so many wonderful memories. And I wrote each of them a long letter, pouring out my heart and all I was feeling on that day.
I read a bunch of psalms, did my Sunday school lesson, reviewed the first week of the Psalm 23 study I will be teaching again this summer, and prayed a bunch more.
I drank many more mugs of hot tea, turned on the fire, and loved on Maddie.
I ignored my hunger, tried not to think about the cookies in the pantry, and prayed for each of my Sunday school kids.
I asked God to show me how to be a mom in this season how to love my kids well from a physical and emotional distance, and thanked him for all of the good times and years I had with them.
Mom and Dad came home from church after running some errands and I spent some time just resting on my bed and hoping to nap (I am a TERRIBLE napper, no matter how tired I am or how hard I try to fall asleep.) I sat outside with Mom while she planted some red geraniums in pots for the front patio; I sniff and sniffed the air since a neighbor was barbecuing hamburgers outside and IT SMELLED SO GOOD!
I made a scrambled egg on toast for dinner and it was almost the yummiest thing I've ever eaten.
All in all, it was a great day and left me with a sense of peace and calm and contentment that has remained with me all week.
I love you all very much!