As I have thought about this upcoming year, the word that keeps coming to mind is alignment. I would really like my head and my heart to get lined up and in sync. I want to live and make decisions and live according to the truth I know in my head rather then my feelings at the moment. I want to walk by faith, not by feelings.
Yes, my feelings are real, valid and important but they are also fickle and ever changing. In short, they aren't very relaiable or steady. So what feels good or right one day doesn't feel good or right a week later. I need some unchanging, solid stuff to hang on to. So I am praying that God takes the truth in my head based on his word and brings it down about 18 inches to effect change in my heart.
To help with that I am going to approach scrpture memory a bit differently this year. I will be doing the SSMT. Holly and I are going to be memory partners although I don't think we'll be going to Houston in a year. The idea of traveling scares me and I am not up for it especially without Toben. Here's how I'm approaching scripture memory: when I feel _________ then a verse I think might help me take those thoughts captive and bring my feelings into line with the truth. So my first one is this: When I feel overwhelmed or attacked and want to respond childishly then 1 John 4:19 in the Message--I, though, am going to love--love and be loved.
I am thinking I will make two-sided flashcards on index cards for this so that I can find how I am feeling easily and then flip the card over to the truth. I do have a few ideas for future verses and feelings--when I feel hopeless, sad, tired, like God has forgotten me , angry, betrayed, helpless, powerless, discouraged, lonely, afraid, like giving up.
I'd also like 2013 to be a year of acceptance. I want it to be a year of accepting my new reality, of being more comfortable with it, of being thankful for it even. That seems almost impossible to me, but then I remember the truth. That nothing is impossible with God, that nothing is too hard for him. While there is much that is too hard and impossible for me I can do all things through Christ in me. See, there's another card for me this year!
P.S. I have really missed blogging! And thanks to my bossy friend Susan--I am journaling daily once again. As I journal I am hoping some of what I write down can become blog posts for Toben to type for me.
P.P.S. As always I am thinkful and overwhelmed by your constant and faithful prayers for me and my family.