One of my favorite movie moments comes from Back to the Future when George McFly approaches Lorraine in the diner in an attempt to woo her and says, "Lorraine, you are my density." Of course he means to say destiny, but it just doesn't come out right. I love that. More than once I have told Joanne, "You are my density." And she always gives me a wry smile and looks at me like, "You are a little weird." Of course she is right.
But in a very real sense, she is my destiny. And I am hers. God put us together for a reason and even with the stroke I would choose her all over again, becasue she and I were destined to be together. And I guess I have to accept that God knew what was ahead of us and in a few ways prepared us for what was coming. Joanne and I have had more that 20 years together. We have had a lot of really good times, and some hard ones too. But through almost all of it it was clear to both of us that we were somehow meant to be together. I think that knowledge at a very core level has been what has kept us together. Even when things have been hard it is a core beliefe that we are each other's density.
So the stroke. Not what we would have chosen to be destined for. And it raises questions daily. The obvious one is why. Why did God allow this to happen? We don't have an answer to that one. Funny thing is that a lot of people email and tell us what they think God's purpose was in all of this, but I have yet to get an email where I jumped up and said, "That's it! This person has discovered why God has allowed this to happen!" Sometimes some of the senitiment will ring true but at the end of the day I think Joanne and I are both trying to figure out the why.
And then the next questions is how. How do we make a good life out of such a hard situation? I think we figure this one out a little bit at a time and by some trial and error. At the end of a particularly hard day we will talk about what made it so tough and try to make a list of things not to do again! And on good days we make that same list--what made today so good so that we can repeat it? Of course this is all very fluid. Most days are a combination of good and bad. It's just a matter of how the day slants.
I think alot about my favorite Bible characters and their destiny. I think most of all of Joseph and the path that his life took. He went through some very, very hard times. Much harder than most of us could bear up under. And yet he ended up in a position to glorify God and save his family from the drought. It's an epic story. Makes me realize that Joanne and I and the girls are also living out an epic story. It's not a short story or even a novel. It's an epic! And the thing with epics is that they are long and sweeping and full of twists and turns and lessons to be learned and mistakes made and victories won.
And I think that is our destiny. To live out this epic life, roll with the punches, celebrate the victories and hold on for the ride. We have no idea where it will take us but it is our "density."
Evey epic has a sense of adventure. Please pary that we would celebrate the adventure even when the going is tough.