I was talking on the phone with a friend this week and after catching him up on what's going on here at eh Heim house, he said, "That has to be so hard for you." We hung up and I had the rest of my drive to Denver to think about what he said. Is my life really that hard? As weird as it may sound, my life just doesn't feel that tough. Here's why:
When you get to live in service to the one you love the most, the benefits seem to outweigh the costs.
At least that's the word that I felt like God was giving me during my time alone. I know it sounds a little Polly Anna but I guess for me it's true. I look at my life in comparison to what Joanne has to deal with and I just can't complain. I get to be with the one I love the most, which is all I asked God for while Joanne was in her coma, so what do I have to complain about?
Are things frustrating from time to time? Yes. Does it mean I can't always do what I want to do when I want to do it? Yes. Does it mean getting up in the middle of the night so Joanne can use the restroom? Yes. Does it mean that I am constantly in empathetic pain for what she is going through. Yes.
But she is alive! I remember walking the halls of the ICU when Joanne was in her coma and I had really boiled it down to a simple prayer, "God, please let Joanne live. However she comes back to us, I am willing to deal with that, just don't take her away." And God answered that prayer.
Have I told you before about about my secret prayer while Joanne was in ICU? Along with that last prayer I always added, "And if you could allow her to retain the ability to read I would be deeply thankful." You see, Joanne has always been a voracious reader of just about anything she could get her hands on: fiction, non-fiction, the Bible, textbooks, cook books, craft books. You name it. Well as I write this Joanne is sitting next to me devouring a book on her Kindle (thanks Sarah). So both of my prayers got answered! How great is that!
I have to give a shout out to the Kindle. It is perfect for someone who is one handed. It's easy to use and she has the ability to pump up the font so that it's easy to read. Plus she has an almost infinite library of books to choose from. It has been an amazing gift.
Back to my point: is life hard? Compared to how it was 9 months ago, I suppose it is. Is it as hard as Joanne's life? Not even close. She deals with things that are a magnitude of 10 beyond what I have to deal with.
But Like I said, getting to live in service to the one you love the most ain't too bad a gig.
1. Joanne has been going to the acupuncturist for the last few weeks. It is painful for her. The make it sound like a few little needles will be poked into your skin, but she is having needle pushed 2-3 inches into her body in spots and up to 50 of them. It is uncomfortable at best and often times painful, but we are seeing the beginning signs of results--some movement in her left arm and foot. Praise God for that!@ And pray for endurance for Joanne as she continues treatment.
2. Praise for God's provision! We have had meals delivered to us twice a week for that last couple of months and people have volunteered to continue to feed us through the end of October! What a treat and a blessing! We are thankful to God for providing!
3. Joanne's spirits could use a boost (no duh). She has a hard life, is almost constantly in some form of pain and is subject to almost weekly trips to the doctor, the orthotics guy, the acupuncturist, to speech therapy, and massage therapy (that last one isn't so tough). She needs a lot of encouragement. If you could pray for the condition of her heart and that God would fill her with hope, that would be awesome.