Things are really slowing down around here. Yes, the week days are still full with therapies and doctors appointments and different activities for the kids, but this day, Saturday there is nothing going on. The girls are at Kristen's house and Joanne and I are just sitting here in the family room. She is reading her Kindle and I am just messing around on line. Feels very peaceful. And it's been like this for hours!
This is something that never happened before the stroke. There was always a lot of activity but now there is so much less on a weekend. We have church tonight and dinner with friends after but that's it, our total plans for the weekend. This is going to take some getting used to.
Another thing that I am feeling is that Joanne and I now really function as a unit. Used ot be pretty independent, coming and going as we pleased, but now we are together. I like that. Still, it is a big adjustment not to be able to just "pop out" and do something on my own. We are knit.
I have moved into my sad phase of grief. Not sure where that one is supposed to fall in the process but it is here. I think I went through anger a week ago--I was really mad at our situation. But yesterday a switch flipped and I am overcome with sadness. There are so many reasons and facets that I can't describe them all here, won't even try. It is the most complex sadness I have every felt. But it is born out a a deep love for Joanne and a sadness at how her life has been flipped upside down. I need to unpack this one some more in a future post.
1. Grace and peace as we continue to move into this new phase. Joanne has been home for three weeks and life is improving. Pray that we keep moving in that direction!
2. Patience. We are still very much figuring things out and facing challenges on manysides that will take time to sort through. May God grant us patience to learn what he has for us to learn in these days, from the very practical to the deeply relational.
3. The girls are heavy on my heart. Please pray that they have a good summer and find their own rhythm in all of this.