Yesterday was one of those days when I'd have had my parenting license revoked if I didn't turn it in voluntarily--if there was such a thing required. Which might not be a bad idea. At least then there'd be a manual, and perhaps an instructor, and maybe even a test to pass before being declared qualified.
'Cause I'm clearly not.
Ever have those days? The kind where you think, I have absolutely NO idea what I'm doing!
Yep, me too.
And it was yesterday. Oy. Was it ever.
But I think we may have actually had a breakthrough late last night before bed. We may be on the same page. We may have a clue what each other is actually thinking and feeling. We may be at a turning point. We may break some bad patterns and move onto breaking some new ground rather than wanting to break something over each other's heads.
I'm so glad that God made day and night, that we get to go to bed at the end of a horrible-no good-very bad day and then wake up fresh to a brand new day with no mistakes in it yet, as Anne would say.
And I'm glad that we cleared the air and apologized to each other and forgave each other before the day was done. Cause it was ugly, ya'll.
(Something tells me that parenting is as much about my being disciplined as it is about my training my girls. Maybe even more so. 'Cause, wow, does it bring to the surface the things in me that need to change. Whoa, Nellie.)
And I'm glad that Toben came home last night (well, early this morning) from his trip to Tennessee and that I don't have to be a single mom today. Somehow dads are able to be more objective. Their buttons don't get pushed nearly as easily as mine. Somehow Toben can parent without turning into a twelve-year-old. Sometimes I can too. But sometimes not.
All that to say to myself: Hang in there. Take a deep breath. Surrender. Listen. Pay attention to what God is up to. Don't rush ahead. Follow his leading. Bite your tongue. Pray constantly. Ask for help.
And you hang in there too.
'Cause I'm guessing that I'm not the only one to have days like yesterday, days when a girl just wants to throw in the parenting towel and run away.