Yesterday did not go quite as planned. I started the laundry, but did not finish it. I did get my hair cut (the girl I've gone to the last two times is a really, really good hair washer--which is worth half the price right there in my book). We did get some school done.
But no packing.
Audrey and I were supposed to fly to Arizona tonight to spend a long weekend with her BFF's family. A family that happens to include some of my BFFs too. But this weekend isn't going to work for them after all and they called and asked us to postpone our trip.
And many tears from my girl who is lonely and desperate to see her BFF.
She scrambled around in her brain, trying to make sense of it, coming up with all kinds of ways to force it to happen, to make it fit anyway, struggling for a sense of control.
And I was reminded of myself--trying to force things to fit when the answer is no and seeing that to force it means compromising what you really want.
Because, yes, we could have gone and stayed with other friends. But that 24/7 non-stop time with her BFF? That wouldn't happen. And that's what she really wants.
So we will wait and go a different weekend so these two sweet girlies can have their uninterrupted time together. But waiting is hard.
In the midst of phone calls and undoing plans, I heard something God has impressed on my heart lately: Praise for everything. The bad as well as the good.
I may have mentioned a time or 712 that I've been loving all of Hannah Hurnard's books--not just Hinds' Feet on High Places. (Though it is my hands-down favorite!) Here are some quotes I jotted down from her book Winged Life:
1. The secret of victorious Christian living...is to go through each day praising for everything--the bad things as well as the good.
2. Don't try to hold onto anything in this life, but willingly let go, in order to be able to receive new enrichment from the Lord.
3. Everything that is willingly laid down into death will be raised to life again in some more glorious and perfect form.
Seems like yesterday was a chance to put it all into practice. It's certainly not easy--despite the 1, 2, 3 simplicity of it. Simple rarely means easy. But God knows best--and so the seemingly bad things are part of that best--his good, pleasing, and perfect will. We just don't see the whole picture.
But then there's this promise (from Hinds' Feet on High Places, naturally!):
accepted with PRAISE
always seem to turn into
Of course, we don't get to see how it will turn out until we do the accepting, do the obedient work of praising. And there's no amount of time mentioned here. Sometimes it happens quickly, other times we wait and wait and wait.
And then there's this from her book Kingdom of Love to answer the question of how we actually praise in the midst of disappointment. Because what about praising even when the disappointment feels very real? Does that mean we're faking it and fooling ourselves? No. It means we're being obedient.
It is never hypocrisy to act as we earnestly desire to feel, even though the feeling may be very contrary at the time.
Feelings follow action.
Just before bed last night, it worked out for Audrey's BFF to fly here for the weekend. Blessing for her, indeed.
Yes, I am still disappointed. I will miss being at MISSION this weekend, miss seeing my friends and time with them. But I have the choice to praise in the midst of it, trusting that God knows what is best.