Ever feel like you don't understand yourself at all? Like you are on a rollercoaster of emotion--up and down and upside down and totally fed up with yourself? Yep, me too.
Here I am, just weeks after feeling so homesick it hurt, getting to go home to Denver, to family, to friends, to my little yellow house filled with treasures, excited and yet constantly on the brink of totally losing it. I'm feeling a little bit crazy. And truth be told, I don't understand myself at all.
I can sort of step outside of myself and look at how I'm feeling, how I'm behaving, and I just shake my head at the ridiculousness of me. I am totally wearing myself out.
(Remember how I said I wanted to handle this transition well, to be calm and peaceful? Not happening.)
So in the midst of completely baffling myself (and everyone around me, I suspect) and being totally paralyzed by the decision of what's best to pack first, I need this verse this week.
God understands me. And not just that, but he understands me well. And he knows what is best for me--in each and every moment.
As I feel pushed and pulled and spun in every direction, I need him. Yet even knowing that, I feel like I'm rushing around, doing everything but being still with him, coming up with all sorts of other things to do first or instead.
I need him to pick me up, hold me tightly until I calm down and get still, lift my chin to look into his eyes, and hear him say, "Shhh, everything's going to be okay."
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