Just stopping by to say hi and thanks to all of you who so faithfully pray for me and this Bible study I'm writing and teaching. Last night was the first one, and I got up this morning and headed back to church to teach this morning too.
I'm somewhere between being totally exhilarated and and totally exhausted. (As evidenced by how long it took me to figure out how to spell "exhilarated." Sheesh. There IS an 'h' in there.)
After last night, the last thing I wanted to do was get up this morning and do it again. Here's why: I finished teaching and thought, What the heck was that?! I felt sad and discouraged and let down. I figured people only said nice things to be nice. I felt like I failed and let everyone down. It was awful. And a little ridiculous. Basically, I was a total mess.
Insecurity hit me square between the eyes. And knocked me flat. (There's a new book I might should pick up, ya think?!)
But this morning? Amazing.
And here's what I have to say about that to you.
Sometimes when you're doing something God has clearly called you to do, it doesn't feel like you expected it to. It doesn't always feel like flying. But that doesn't mean that God didn't show up. That doesn't mean that you're doing the wrong thing. That doesn't mean you have to question your calling.
I felt like God said to my heart as I lay awake (again not sleeping last night), Will you keep doing it anyway--no matter what it feels like? Will you trust me? Will you trust that I know what I'm doing, trust that I know what's best, trust that I will not let you fall? Will you listen to MY voice?
So when those times come (and you can bet they will), obey anyway. Do what God has called you to do despite how you're feeling about it. Because joy will come as you walk forward in obedience. And when it comes? Wow.
I said mostly the same things this morning as I did last night. Used the same notes. Taught the same stuff. Even wore the same outfit and yesterday's hair. But chose to believe that his mercies were new for this morning. Chose to listen to HIS voice, rather than the voice (well, voices, let's be real!) of insecurity.
We get to choose what we listen to. And how we choose makes a difference. Let's choose wisely.
But now, this is what the LORD says--
he who created you, O Joanne (or whatever your name happens to be),
he who formed you, O Joanne (yep, your name again!):
"Fear not, for I have redeemed you;
I have summoned you by name;
you are mine...
"...you are precious and honored in my sight...
I love you..."
from Isaiah 43