10 reasons why I let my daughter have pink hair

1. She's asked for pink hair on and off for a couple of years now--it wasn't a momentary whim.

But it was against school rules to have a non-natural hair color, so we never dyed it. And let's be honest, that magenta is NOT natural! Since she's homeschooled, we're not breaking any rules. If she were in school, she wouldn't have pink hair. 

(That's why she has no Facebook account even though she wants one. She's not old enough and we will not let her lie about her birthday to get one.)

2. She's 11 and wanting to experiment with finding her own style. In light of some of the hoochy-mama and immodest clothes that are out there, pink hair seems relatively minor to me.

3. It's semi-permanent and will fade over time. It won't last forever!

4. I dyed it for her, so the whole process cost less than a new outfit. 

5. It looks really cute on her! Have to say, her blue eyes really pop with hot pink hair.

6. She wanted it for herself. 

Not because her friends were doing it, not because a boy said it would be cool (not that she cares about boys at all at this point!), not because she's seen anyone else with pink hair. 

We had some good conversations while I sectioned and colored all that hair (she has a LOT of hair). The truth is, if she were doing it for those reasons, I would not have let her do it. And she gets that.

7. Her daddy said yes. If he'd said no, her hair wouldn't be pink.

8. She's seeing that changing how she looks doesn't change who she is. 

Pink hair is fun, but she's still herself and still needs to make wise choices every single day about who she will be and how she will act.

9. She didn't whine and complain and nag about it. She gave us time to think about it, and I really think she'd have been okay if we'd said no.

10. In light of 1-9, why not?

 

 

Comments

[Melissa @ Breath of Life]

All good reasons, to be sure. My girl (also 11) wants a Facebook account, but we've continued to say no. At this point, she doesn't want pink hair...but if she did, I think I'd really give it more thought after reading your post.

[Kati]

I think that is great. You are a fun mom but one who really considers all aspects of the decision. :) I remember when I was growing up, it drove my mom crazy that I would paint my fingernail and toenails wild colors. My mom would always say that it is something that isn't permanent, and there were worse things I could be doing. Since I was a good student, she figured purple, teal or green fingernail and toenails were the least of her concerns. :) And eventually I outgrew that stage!

[Susan]

Your girls are so grounded...I never questioned why you and the Big T would allow her to have pink hair.

I'm thinking of going pink for our Relay for Life event. Wanna come out and do it for me?

Love you and love your pink-haired-beautiful girl.

[dawn]

thanks for including us in your thinking process...these decisions sometimes tap into the weirdest things for parents, and it takes effort to think them through and sort it out.

have you posted a pic? pink hair sounds fabulous!

[Karen]

Why not indeed! As a grandma, one thing I learned about raising kids (and life) don't sweat the small stuff. there's always big stuff around the corner. Hair color--small (and fun!!) stuff.

[Allison Talamantez]

I LOVE IT!!!!!!! I feel like I am pretty similar in many of my thoughts.....LOVE IT!

[Holly@Crownlaiddown]

Such a wonderful mom are you, friend. Really.

[Mindi]

Love it! And love that you did the dying! Being a part of the process especially as she's making the transition to a young teen is so important to helping her to see you as a resource & partner as she finds her own style and identity.
Plus I'm a fan of fun hair color. I have purple lowlights at the moment :)

[mzzterry]

I put a purple strip in my hair for my 49th birthday, because i could! I totally understand your thought process, It is in line with how I brought up my girls, my # 1 rule being choose your battles. Hair was never a battle. I saved battle (I never actually HAD a battle with my girls) but the non-negotiables were life and death matters, drugs, sex, riding in a car with someone who was using. They never did any of those. I like to think it is because of the relationship we built and the fact that we didn't fight over nonessentials, like the hair, the nail polish, the messy room stage, etc....

[Jen]

I love this post! Clearly, she is your daughter and you get to decide what she does and doesn't do, but I love your perspective!

I teach 3rd grade and see parents get really worked up about minor things and then disregard more major things. I think its great that you can say yes on these things that usually we say no to because of how it makes us feel/look, but because there is something wrong at the heart of it.

I pierced my nose about a year ago (a small stud) because I'd always wanted to and my husband really liked the idea. My parents were so concerned with how parents of kids in my class would respond, did it make me look irresponsible, etc. And I am a grown woman!

What freedom your girls have to SEE a godly marriage walked out and to KNOW they can really find out who they are without feeling confined by what mom's box says they have to be. I love that!

[Marla Taviano]

I love every last bit of this, and I think she looks GORGEOUS to boot! My girls' eyes lit up when they saw her pic.

[Brynn in CO]

You are a great mom. Thank you for sharing your thought process with us. It's so good to start thinking now (my own daughters are 4 and 2) about the best ways to respond to these types of issues. Thanks so much for being willing to share!

[Tiffany Morse]

I 100% love it! I'm that kind of mom, there are so so so many other things to worry about! Blessings sweet sister!

[Lisa R-p]

11. Because you are an awesome mom! Her hair looks great.

[Tara]

You are a great mom. Have you ever read "Grace Based Parenting?" Your list sounds like it could have come from that book. Really cool!

[Megan@SortaCrunchy]

I love this! Very, very cool and well-thought out.

I also would love to see a picture. Sounds like so much fun!

[Meli]

My mom was similar in her decisions for me. Her view when I was in 7th grade was that I wasn't smoking, doing drugs, or drinking, so why not let me dye my hair. The only condition was that for my Bat Mitzvah it had to go back to a natural looking hair color. And her response whenever anyone asked why she let me was, "Well, I dye my hair, but I just choose to dye it brown."

[Emily]

I dyed my hair purple when I was 10! My mom took me to have it done and was supportive for similar reasons. It remains a really fun memory (I'm 21 now) and I always use it as an example of how my parents cared about my HEART and motives and didn't get legalistic about just-doing-the-most-pious-outward-seeming-thing. We had a great relationship throughout middle and high school and now as I graduate from college! And I made better choices (ie no drinking, drugs, sex, etc) than a lot of my friends whose parents would have died before letting them do something so Out There. Yay for your grace and my parents' :-)

[Stephanie Parnell]

I decided long before I ever got pregnant that if my daughter one day wanted to dye her hair a funky color I would let her. When you are in the working world or an adult, you cannot do anything with your appearance that may be questionable to your customer base. And so I think more parents should let their kids experiment with the less-than-permanant options while they still don't have a ton of responsibility to anyone but themselves and their parents. It's fun, and I wish I had of dyed my hair before I started working at age 15.

[Jessica]

love it!

[EmilyB]

This is great! My mom is very similar to you--she let me a 2nd pair of ear piercings when I was 12 and get blue highlights when I was 17. It was fun and harmless! At 26, I still wear studs in my top holes, but thanks to my job, the blue is gone. I kind of miss it! :)

[Melanie Harrington]

Bravo, Mom! I always wanted pink hair when I was her age but never got it! My 3 girls have never asked but I would let them in a heartbeat.

[Lisa @ Simplified Saving]

We let our daughters dye their hair pink for some of the same reasons! We let them do it during the summer and then let it fade and grow out. They haven't asked to re-dye it.

I'm also glad to see I'm not the only "mean" mom who won't let her 11 year old have a Facebook account. I've told her that it wouldn't be right to use a fake ID and that having a Facebook page when you're not 13 is the same thing...lying about your age. It's hard when all of her friends are allowed to have Facebook accounts, but I know we're doing the right thing. I've also told her that she is more than welcome to write a letter to the powers that be at Facebook explaining her dilemma. If they are willing to make a special exception to the age limit, I'm willing to let her have a Facebook!

[wilhalen]

That's awesome!
I wish my mom had had that mindset. I'd asked her about all kinds of thing I'd wanted for years, not because other people had them - but because I genuinely wanted them. She almost always said no. So frustrating! She's 35 years older than me and always said stuff about how when SHE was growing up, she'd never have been allowed that. I wish I could have said to her: So? You were born in 1948! You don't have to parent exactly like YOUR parents did. Find your own style! Stop being so uptight about every little thing!
Then again, that would have been 'back talking'...
Anyway, I hope your daughter appreciates how awesome you are for doing this.

[danielle]

ok, so im 14 and i just want a piece of my hair died pink and my parents wont let me:/ WHY NOT???!??!?

[Brooke]

What dye did you use? Did you bleach it beforehand? I will be showing this to my mom very very soon( I am eleven and would like some part of my hair an odd color)

[Brooke]

Thank you so much for writing this, I showed this to my mom on Tuesday and she agreed to dye it tommorow. I am so thrilled and after scanning the student code of conduct found that my school allows unnatural colored hair :) and since I will not be bleaching it before I dye it, it will not be super damaged. Thanks again!

[vickie m.]

i just dyed my 9 year old's hair blue. you sound like me and even though i don't know you, i consider you a friend! :)

[Miranda]

Her hair looks so pretty :)

[HAIR EXTENSION]

The 10 reasons are reasonable. Thank you because I have something learned from it. This is very important for me. Keep it up.

[Lindsay]

Your 10 reasons are great. I've been trying to convince my mom to let me do the same for awhile. Hopefully if I show her this I can!

[Annabella]

A great mom!

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[bhjvk,]

i want to dye my hair light pink, but my mom won't let me. she complains to my dad that im going through a goth/emo phase when she thinks im not around. whatever. point is, im 13 and im just becoming a teenager, and i want to try things out. after my 8th grade year, of course. the summer before i enter high school, i want to expirament with who i am. im not wearing 1/8 of the eyeliner a normal scene girl wears, and she still thinks its wayyyy too much. i dont even have amillimeter thick on!!! and i MOST CERTAINLY AM NOT CUTTING MYSELF!!!

[SHELLIE]

im 11too and i cant convince my mum and dad to let me gey rambow highlights and they say that i cant EVER get them

[Rebecca]

Love. It.

You rock on with that pink hair, kiddo.

[wholesalehairtools]

I LOVE THIS.