Ever think about doing something, but don't do it, but somehow think you did? And then you check and realize you only thought about doing it and you'd better get with the program?
So here I thought I'd thanked you for the Bible study writing prayers last Friday--AND I TOTALLY DIDN'T. I just thought about it. And as I tell the girls, other people can't read our thoughts, we have to TELL them thank you, we have to SAY ALOUD the compliment we're thinking.
It was one of those days I couldn't type fast enough. Incredible. Amazing. Awe-some.
Yet there were moments when I'd suddenly feel completely overwhelmed and inadequate and terrified, but I put my hands in my lap, told God, "I'm overwhelmed and I need YOU to do this thing, because this is your Bible study and it needs to say what YOU want it to say." And I'd sit expectantly and pretty soon the typing would flow again.
It was so cool.
And from time to time your comments or emails would pop up, and they were like little jolts of caffeine to my system, giving me a thrill and a push to keep going.
And now I have to confess that I'm already doubting it. Silly, huh? I have moments--just moments, mind you, but moments nonetheless--where I suddenly think, Maybe it's not that good. Maybe that's not what you're supposed to say. You are no Beth, no Priscilla. What if you let all these women down?
Isn't it so crazy and yet so completely predictable that when we hear God's voice SO CLEARLY, SO SPECIFICALLY, SO SURELY that it doesn't take much time for Satan to come slinking along and make us question what we heard and if in fact we actually heard anything at all?!
Can I just say I hate that? In fact, I'll just go ahead and say I hate him. Makes me angry at him and all the more determined to stand strong. To stand firm. To resist him. To stick out my tongue at him and to tell him to GET LOST.
I'm guessing there are some of you who have heard God's voice and you knew that you knew that you knew it was him, and yet you're suddenly plagued with doubt. I want to encourage you this morning to stand firm in his Word, to trust that he speaks, to trust that he doesn't just speak to others, but that he speaks TO YOU.
I love you. Thanks for being my friend.